Different Strokes For Different Kiddos

Different Strokes For Different Kiddos

Not so long ago, my five-year old child was that child in class, ” who did not want to write, at all. “ But, I am very thankful that his teachers, from his previous school were dedicated educators. They did not force it on him. Although, I myself was wondering why it made him sad, to see a crayon and it made him cry (genuinely) to see a pencil. I had to consult one of his pre school teachers, Teacher Coco, on why he was behaving that way. And by virtue of deduction and the process of elimination, guess who got the most votes as culprit? ” Me, of course, who else? “

I was this parent, who kept asking teachers on how to improve his son’s skills. But sadly, I failed see that I might had been the hindrance most especially, in his writing. I decided to retrace my steps and pick up the pieces. I became fully aware that I was at fault, somehow.

First, I never made time for his writing.

Even it did seem that I had given all the time for my child, I never made a friendly but consistent schedule for him, to include some writing. I too, together with my son, gave up easily, when he declared, “ I do not want to write. ” I was TOO lazy to find time and discover other ways. I never went AROUND the problem nor did I find creative ways to solve it.

Second, I never made the introduction to writing, fun for my child.( everything else like reading, singing and reciting poems were fun for my child.) Of course he did not want to write because he did not know how fun it was.

Our writing sessions were as bland as pencil, paper and eraser . His teacher advised me that I should encourage him more often, to play with play-doughs, lego pieces and clothes pin.

And that he should also twist open, then firmly close, water bottle containers at home, so to strengthen his pincer grasp.

( anything and everything which had nothing to do with a paper, eraser or pencil.)

( T’cher Coco, thank you for the tips.)

Third, I know for a fact that I was practicing hover or helicopter parenting. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent

I seem to do so much for my child including opening water bottles for him when he could have done it himself.

Small tasks appeared as great obstacles to him. They were thrice magnified from what they actually were.

Writing became a heavy challenge in his daily routine.

Last, I expected my son to be quick in writing as he was in reading.

He had a way with words. He had so many sight- words like I was, when I was about three. Therefore , I presumed that my son would somehow be just like me, romancing with reading and writing at a very young age.( though I do not boast of a great penmanship. ) I pressured him to write.

And for all of those, I deserved to be CRUCIFIED!

LATER ON, I WAS ABLE TO CORRECT SOME MISTAKES .

I AM THANKFUL TO THE FOLLOWING:

-TEACHER COCO

( Of M.S.S. )

-TEACHER IRIS ( my cum laude best friend who is a very brilliant special education teacher.)

-MY MOTHER ( for always telling me, ” AYAW PUGSA, PAGDULA RA MO. ” Do not force him.Play with him. ” )

And the latter really made me wonder, for MY SON MUST HAVE BEEN PLAYING ALL HIS LIFE! )

and

– EHOW, WIKI and GOOGLE

And to give one an idea, on how our journey in writing was, this was how my son wrote his alphabets, last summer:

If he would be writing vowels : a, e, i, o, and u, he would be unable to complete it, or write it at all. It was because, by the time he would reach the letter ” u “, tears as big as pebbles would be rolling down his cheeks. His writing wasn’t a pretty sight and so was his face.

While today, roughly two months later, this is how his alphabets are I wrote down the sentences and he copied them below .

But as my husband would say about my son’s penmanship today, it is now somewhat a bit difficult to distinguish, which handwriting was mine and which was my son’s. He now enjoyed answering reading comprehension questions, for he could write the answers legibly.

He could now answer mock test papers I made for him.

And he sometimes did a bit of addition.

You see, our writing journey was never easy, I promise you that. It took all the patience I could muster and the prayers I could utter. And I had to make amends for my past crimes. Therefore, equipped with helpful tips and pieces of advice, I devised and customized a summer of learning for my son. My son and I had to start all over again.

1. Allot time for writing.

LEARNING begins at home. As parents, we have to allot time for our children especially in their writing practices, even at least thirty minutes. I scheduled ours, one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon. And we used a timer to strictly implement our schedule.

Using a timer was crucial, for it prevented me from over teaching and it kept my son from writing too much. In addition to that, my kid’s ” WAIT A MINUTE MOM ” just drove me to the wall. While writing, he would suddenly say, “Wait a minute mom, I want to scratch my head.” ( or maybe ears, arms or legs .) And he would scratch his head (ears, arms or legs) longer than what was permitted in the history of scratching. Or,“WAIT A MINUTE MOM, I want to pee . ” ( for the nth time )

I, on the other hand, would be gritting my teeth so hard, enough to have chipped them all. But through the timer, I was able to show him how long a minute really was. (since my kid, like most children, did not have a concrete idea on how long a minute was. So with the timer he now knew, that a minute would mean him, having written ten letters. ) During our lessons, I gave him three sets of one minute. So he could do what he wanted to do. Yet, if he wouldn’t be able to use all the three sets of one minute, till our hour lesson was over, I rewarded him.

As the days went by, he began forgetting his three sets of one minute, for he became engrossed in writing already. I too, forgot about perfecting the art of gritting or grinding my teeth. ( Thank God. You know how costly it is to go to the dentist nowadays? )

2. Make it fun, one step at a time.

One step, one character, one letter at a time. I do remember having once read, something in the lines of :

Wouldn’t we rather have our child , draw a crooked slanted little stick ” / ” , with a very proud smile, than make him write a perfect little ” Y ” , with tears in his eyes.

But of course this led me to asking, how in the world would I ever let my son take that first step of making a stick, with a grin on his face, when the sight of a pencil and a paper, brought him to tears?And how would I make him write, without me feeling wretched and horrible inside? We do not force our children of course. But we would at least let them try, through creative means.

So on the first few days of summer, I did not show him any lined papers or pencils, that reminded him of that personal tragedy of writing. We used my husband’s sign pens. ( sorry husband, wasteful wife) We wrote on used telephone bills and credit card statements. We used old newspapers. He encircled words that I asked him to look for, on the headlines.

We played a game of circles , crosses and checks. ( a tic-tac-toe variation. ) For every circle I made, he had to place a cross over it. And for every cross he made, I placed a check on it. And for every check I made, he placed a circle over it. Until our paper was filled with the craziest doodles of circles, crosses and checks. It went around, for two days.

We also had another game.Since teachers already taught him his cvcs, beginning and ending letters, I asked him to write the beginning letter of the sound an animal made. Cow was ” moo “. So he wrote the letter ” m ” . He also wrote beginning letters of his favorite superheroes. Batman was ” B. ” ( or something that resembled a letter ” b “. )

Somehow, he was starting have some fun. Plus, he now wanted to perfect his letters especially his letter” i “, for Iron Man. Then, we went back to writing vowels, just like he was taught in school:

And that time, he was now able to finish them. Apart from making him write vowels, I included few words which interested him a great deal, like:

Spiderman Wolverine Hulk

One small writing step for the kid, one giant parenting step for mommy. As my best friend, Teacher Iris, told me over the phone, ” He HAS to write, kaya mo yan mommy.” ( ” you can do it mom. ” Those words jolted me back to reality. It was not up to my son to have a pleasant attitude towards writing, but it was up to me. His attitude towards writing was dependent on how I would guide him towards it.

And with my child, my sister’s kids and some of my friends’ children, (though, I could not say the same with other children,) I realized there is no such thing as ADVANCE learning in children. I think, children do not get bored in school because they know a lot. But they sometimes get tired of going to school because they DO NOT know or at least have a little idea, on what their teachers were talking about.

They are like sponges. They can absorb anything and everything in their environment .As long as the environment is educational and learning friendly. As long as the child had fun doing it. As long as the parent will have the time. ( That was our environment when my siblings and I were younger children running around our house. WE HAD FUN LEARNING! My mom made sure of that.)

If my son will not start learning now, then when? If he would not start writing now, then when?

2. Create a writing ambience.

One herculean obstacle in our writing session was that, I was always competing for my son’s attention. My son had TOO many toys. While the television set and the ipad beckoned. I had no fighting chance with Spiderman, Wolverine and Captain America. While juniors, Nick and Disney are too irresistible for my son. Although, I made those super heroes work to my advantage my son loved copying and writing their names, but that was it.

They were always the center of activity in my son’s life. They had us surrounded. And they had to cease and desist, quick. Yet, I could not just take them all away from him abruptly. So I had to choose a gradual slope, a path that will take him away from those distractions, little by little. I chose a different venue for our writing lessons.

We did not spend it in the house or in his room were all Marvel and D.C. took residence. Instead, we went to my husband’s store which was just a walking distance. While my son was there, it left him no choice but to do as he was told. And that was to write. It was because the television there belonged to The NBA while no super hero can lure him.

Eventually, we were able to take out, ALL of his toys from his room and strictly implement television time. And instead, his crayons, colored pencils, books and all writing supplies were placed within his reach.

4. Stock up, on necessary writing supplies

* Writing Books

* Blank Flash Cards

( He copied words here. And it is helpful too, when writing down some sight words. )

* Crayons and other colored pencils

( and I had to draw some of his favorite super heroes, for him to color. )

* Pencils

* Lined pad paper

* Reward tokens.

( rewards which included certain minutes for watching television )

And my punishments on the other hand, would be giving him demerits. ( It would be reducing television time or taking away minutes from his favorite past time which was drawing super heroes.) I had to be stern and consistent in my rewards and demerits, so he knew that I MEANT IT. And I did not want to chip all my teeth off.

BUT EVERY CHILD IS UNIQUE. SO SOME OF THOSE I MENTIONED, MIGHT WORK WITH YOUR CHILD AND SOME WOULD NOT. BUT YOU CAN CUSTOMIZE SOME, ACCORDING TO YOUR CHILD’S NEEDS AND INTERESTS. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I GUESS, IS TO LET HIM HAVE A BIT OF FUN. WHILE US PARENTS, HAVE TO PRAY HARDER THAN WE EVER HAD.