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Yaya/s. ( or Nanny/ies )
This is my ” literature “, entirely devoted to ” the new generation yayas “ (nannies), whom my husband and I, had the misfortune to meet and employ. With which, many of my friends here and abroad, who preferred to be stay-at-home-moms or dads, LUCKILY, cannot relate with. My husband and I, just like many of our parent-friends, for years, had to struggle with having to scout and screen nannies for our child.
There were few hits, yes, but several misses. (ESPECIALLY the misses. ) They were those nannies, who were not really, who and what they claimed to beThey wasted our money and our time, (especially my husband’s, whose time translates to business opportunities) while they truly VIOLATED our PERSONAL LIVES.
They were anything BUT yayas. They occupy themselves in tormenting you, other than giving the right care to your children.And when the search is on, it’s more than reality television, it’s LIFE.
You’ve got to survive.
YAYA MATERIAL ( Career: Yaya)
This of course is to differentiate this “ new-gen “, from the trustworthy nannies that few parents are fortunate to have.
They are the Yaya Luring of Sharon and the Yaya Moi of Piolo. ( and we may not be celebrities ourselves, but don’t we also deserve any loyalty?)
And the yaya employed in Sir Chief’s household:
Yaya Maya , who not only kept giving magnolia fruit drink to ” baby, “, but also taught her ward , Abby, to finally talk.
They are the yayas, who stayed true to their jobs, because they needed their jobs, just like their employers needed them.
( Trabaho ang hanap at hindi kung anu-ano pa. ) But that kind, is a rare kind, nowadays, -threatened to extinction.
I’ve had, two nannies of that near-extinction-kind, whom my husband and I, are thankful to have known. They had treated my entire family well, my child most especially. They functioned in the capacity, required of a yaya. The services they gave, equalled the salary given them. They have reciprocated our generosity and patience, with hardwork and dedication. And they most are definitely, recipients of generous bonuses from us. They have stayed longer, than the rest.
And they left without the entire household in complete disarray, so to speak.
And we do not even care, about those nannies, who chose to leave us for a new employer and a higher salary.
In that instance, we do not seek nor demand, their loyalty for us. For anywhere, anyhow, any working person with mouths to feed, given the opportunity, will also seek for a better pay. We recognize that. We do not keep them, if they want to leave, just as long as, they give us time to replace them.
And not that they leave, as they please.
SO I speak of those NANNIES who, more than having left us for another job, have made our lives and that of my friends’, very stressful in so many ways.
BEFORE
Seriously, a long time ago, the Filipino family, given its kinship nature, of extended families and the like, had included household helps, as integral members of the family.
While the employees in return, consider their employers as ” family ” too.
I would like to mean it as, mentioning, a few years back, when my maternal grandmother, Rosario ” Alang ” Paderanga vda. de Espinosa of Tupsan, Mambajao, Camiguin, had their ” muchachas or muchachos “. And their mother was assisted by a nana, a mayordoma or a manangThey helped the families of their househelps , by sending at least one family member to school. And their househelps and mayordomas stayed as long as their employees needed them and they stayed loyal and faithful to them. (or like in our own household, we had our own ” Manang Linda.”)
(my father was very hardworking enough, to be able to provide my mom with someone to help her out with their eight children.)
But of course, with or without househelps, with manangs and nanas, depending of course, on the affluence and financial capability of the head of the family,
the mothers still stayed at home.
She took care of the children, either alone or with assistance.
Mothers before, may the women:
plowing the fields, harvesting the crops, tending to the farm animals, watering her fruit trees, concocting herbal medicines,
preparing picnic baskets, mending clothes, doing the laundry, perfecting her recipes, writing letters, doing embroidery, practicing her solfigio,
playing on a grand piano, taking care of her garden, teaching her children how to read while a gamu-gamo flies to the lamp,
and yes, maybe, giving birth to as many as she could.
In some days, they may be found, either in the confession box at church,
or in an extreme set up, taking care of wounded guerillas or sewing the Philippine flag.
But other than being those above, mothers would be in the home, visible to the children on a daily occurence.
TODAY
Presently in the Philippines, the need for mothers is not anymore consigned and limited to the kitchen and the nursery.
The wives now, have to help the husbands in contributing to the family coffers, especially when the fathers’ salaries do not suffice.
Mothers also have jobs to prioritize.
They find their own selves, more often than not, away from their children’s sides.
And sometimes, in a special situation, the mothers’ earnings contribute largely to the financial need of the family, therefore they cannot let go of a job just like that, in exchange for staying at home.
So either the daddies, take the sacrifice in staying in the house ( which is best actually ) or take a nanny.
And also, when the grandparents themselves, are still working and/or had simply migrated to other countries, the parents just have no one to leave the kids with.
So the mothers, fathers and the entire family, ( kapamilya, kapatid and kapuso) rely heavily on nannies for the care of the children.
Therefore, it can be said that the Filipino family today, with BOTH parents having to work, is truly a nanny dependent social unit.
Today, a middle class family functions as a successful social unit only with the presence of a least one nanny.
The nannies are indispensable members of the working class family.
( try having to stay in the office, while images flash through your mind, like that of your son’s nanny, texting her boyfriend, while your son is about to jump from the table,
or worst yet, of those abusive kinds who may be hurting your precious ones while you are away and they cannot defend themselves.)
POWER
The nannies therefore I conclude, have emerged as the next powerful people in the Philippines.
In fact, maybe next to the president, if our President had little kids.
Or Manny Pacquiao.
Just where do you think would Jinkee, leave her small children before, when she tags along in one of Manny’s fight abroad?….while maybe, Aling Dionisia is in GenSan?
Whether we parents , especially working parents, like it or not, we may have the money, but we surely do not have the power.
Obviously, the ones who tend to our children, while we are away, have it.
We have accorded them that power.
We can never be that beholden to the driver, who takes care of our car, the laundry woman, who does our laundry or the cook who feeds us.
But with the nannies we are.
For they hold within their reach, the most precious thing we have on this earth whom we have entrusted to them.
Our children.
They are the reason we work hard, like there is no tomorrow.
They are whom we work hard for, sleep late for and make our lives a bit comfortable.
We take care of our finances, investments and health, not necessarily all for ourselves but for them
We owe them those.
We take the risk in employing a complete stranger and welcoming them in our homes because of our kids. We just want to make sure our little kids have someone to be with them the whole day, to keep them safe.
( or are they?)
As a parent, I acknowledge our need for nannies and their power over us.
As long as, they do not let us be perfectly aware of it, by dangling it in front of our helpless faces.
FOR this is where :
” The New Generation Yayas, “ whom my husband and I, had the misfortune to meet and employ, comes in.
We are willing victims of a hostage taking. HOLD-apan, harap harapan. These are the ones who aren’t career yayas.
They are perfectly aware of their powers and they use it on parents like myself.
The parents’ vulnerability with regards to our children, has permitted the emergence of this new geneeration of yayas:
THEY HAVE ARRIVED.
AND THEY ARE SO HAPPENING.
1. BOMBO NANNY
Siete (7).
Biente cuatro (24).
…sa pihitan ng inyong mga radyo.
This personality that you may employ, may not physically abuse your children but she tells anyone and everyone about anything and everything.
(which makes it totally stressful) She will make sure, your personal affairs are on display, for all other lazy and envious people, to scrutinize and tinker with.
So when you and hubby gets into a fight, that morning, do not be surprised if you make it, in the evening news. #trending
She has names for everybody in the family.
She has a malicious monicker for everyone but herself. She calls you Ate and Ma’am. But she calls you, babae, panget, bruha, or the devil’s spawn behind your back or whatever fits her fancy. #secretpinboards
( and she may be far way better, than I am, in ” labelling ”
these new-breed-of-nannies like her, who had violated me, my friends and our families.)
You will suffocate on the words, that you will by chance, hear this nanny call you, your husband and the rest of the members of your family.
She also makes sure, that a certain air of competition , exists between
her and the other nannies, till later on, it becomes a competition and misunderstanding between employers.
And her expertise?
She causes havoc between family members.
Should rift already exist, between certain individuals in the family,
she will deliver, to and fro, hurtful messages to both parties, till they become fighting cocks, whom you could place your bet on.
The sad thing of course, is that the family is already, in a state of unrest .
Everybody is at war while nanny gloats on her masterpiece.
In the WAITING AREA of my son’s school, where I mostly spend my entire morning,
I see, err, HEAR this type of nannies, laughing and talking about their employees, while they are not around.
You witness other parents’ personal lives, unfold before you, through commentators and judges who sound like experts on everything.
” Naku , yung amo kong babae, ganito sila mag away ni Kuya, ganito siya magdamit, ganito siya kumain, ganito siya maglakad, ganito siya magsalita…hahahaha. .”
( ..and maybe even..” ganito huminga.”.. )
So when PTCs or Family Days are scheduled, I see these kindhearted parents with their Bombo Nannies.
I couldn’t look straight on the faces of the parents, whose personal lives where discussed on LIVE CHAT.
But I feel so much abhorence for their nannies who look meek as lambs beside them.
I’m pretty sure at one point, one of my many BOMBO NANNIES have revealed anything and everything about me, in that school’s waiting area and have made fun of us and the entire people in our house.
And certainly out there, there are parents whom I haven’t met, who know me openly from head to toe, thanks to my BOMBO NANNY.
But I never had the chance to stand up to these type of nannies and confront them, even if I am fully aware that they belittle me, behind my back.
It is because, I know it’s a waste of my time, it’s a major insult to my intellect and most importantly, I NEEDED THEM.
And for some reason, not so nice things just befall these kind of nannies while good fortunes seem to be going my way, -overflowing.
So I let them be.
But you know how unfair that is, to allow other people to assassinate your character, while you have to be AMIABLE to them?
And you remain helpless as a puppy dog because calling their attention is not an option?
or ELSE?
” Te, magpapaalam na po ako.”
2. BREWSTER NANNY
Just like in Brewster’s Millions, Brewster Nanny is in a dire need of wasting money
( including what you have worked hard for.)
She has no value for it, while she makes sure you are aware, that she is,
wasteful.
You need her, so you keep her.
Brewster Nanny would claim, she one time lived and worked in the household of the Ongpaucos, of Sarah Geronimo and even that of Senator Panfilo Lacson’s.
You dined out with the family then you ordered a decent meal for nanny, yet she did not finish it.
Guess what she would say ?
” Ate, nag da-diet ako . ” ( I’m on a diet.)
And poor workaholic that you are, you look on an unfinished plate, filled with hours spent at work, wasted just like that.
She would even sometimes drop hints like,
” …Pero ma’am, sa dating amo ko, nag shabu shabu kami at kumakain kami ng buffet sa hotel.”
” Yaya, kahit ano pa man, hindi ko kaya yun, talaga.”
She flushes food in the toilet bowl and pours milk into the drain when she gets tired and lazy in feeding her ward.
While of course saying, ” Tapos na po kumain si baby, Ate.”
( …a career yaya would have the dedication and perseverance, you know.)
She would actually take a scoop of your son’s milk: pedia-sure,
( check the grocery how much this is) then mix it with honey and yes use it as facial scrub.
She would surprisingl, sometimes smell just like your son, because she too uses your son’s costly hypoallergenic goat’s milk lotion and shampoo.
She excessively uses your son’s Australian Emu Oil on her own scars.
In short she is an extension of your Visa, Mastercard and your hard earned money.
They snooped on waste bins too for they know the price tags of what you buy your children.
” Hmph, bakit ganyan si sir, eh kaya nga niya bumili ng mga laruan na libo, sinisira lang ng anak niya sa isang iglap,
tapos WIPES LANG, gagalit sya..
Just in case you do ask , ” yes, that line though teleserye sounding, was actually spoken and delivered directly to me .”
( hango sa tutuong buhay, at hindi kathang isip lamang. )
” Ya, wipes yun para sa bata, hindi para sa yo, na gawin mong parang bulak at pampunas ng mukha mo gabi-gabi. “
And just because she saw the price tags of my son’s shirts, shoes and toys ,does that mean she is licensed to be wasteful on other things too?
MALASAKIT .
This type of nanny doesn’t have that.
One day, you and your husband, come home to your house, like it was the first day, in the seven days of creation.
” Let there be light, and then there was light.”
EVERYWHERE.. ( including the bedside lamp.)
Everything turned on, from the television, to the radio, to the dvd player, to the i-dock to everything that may translate that either you or your husband are stockholders for Meralco.
” Yaya, patayin mo yung aircon ha. Wag yung buong araw nakabukas.”
” Ang init kc ‘ te.”
” Mag electric fan ka nalang, ang mahal ng binabayaran ko sa kuryente. “
” Ate, hindi kaya ni baby.”
” Hindi nga puede buong araw, ya. “
So what next?
She says,
” Te, magpapaalam na po ako.”
“Sge Ya, buksan mo buong araw yung aircon, HANGGANG SA MAG YELO.”
Fin.
End of conversation.
She stayed.
You prolonged your agony.
3. YAYA GARMS
Or the Garm-ents yaya. The point of conflict with Yaya Garms would of course be, clothes.
or the lack of it. Well, the agency you hired them from, specifically instructed them to wear uniforms, because it would help them look neat and tidy.
And even then, when during the job interview, you informed them that, this is what you would require of them.
Sometimes they stubbornly refuse to wear their uniforms . You give in, because you need them.
But when you as a parent merits your children’s school’s attention , because nanny is wearing skimpy shorts, lower than low necklines tops with spaghetti straps (make that cappelini or cappeli d’angelo straps), what gives. You teach your chldren how to dress up decently while yaya isn’t?
Lastly, when they sashay around the house during evenings in revealing nighties, you gotta have shades,
like Fifty Shades Of…
Yes you have to let them go.This would not do of course , should it?
It just is so impractical , among other things, to have them going around with skimpy articles of clothing
while you urgently need them to get up in the middle of the night when there is an emergency.
Pambibirang buhay ito.
Talagang pambihira.
( EpiPen me, now na..)
Yes, These nannies refuse to wear their uniforms.
” Ate, bakit mag yu-uniform pa ako ?”
It really is easier, to find the nannies in uniforms, in a throng of people, especially in the mall or big children parties, than those in not.
It is practical. And never was it something done just to torment nannies.
It comes with the job.
But my husband and I, personally ” encountered ” the answer, to why they sometimes don’t.
Years ago in a mall, my husband I, walking around, while carrying our infant son, had this particular experience with our very own Yaya Garms.
The nanny, while pushing my son’s stroller, suddenly went into panic mode and said,
” Ate paki tulak muna nito ng stroller ni Rafa , eto yung thermos niya, bag at pakihawak muna ng pacifier, tsaka paki dala na rin nitong mga shopping bags mo. “
Then she hurriedly left our side, walked towards the skin clinic across us and stood in front of it.
She acted out like she, in her beige uniform, was working for that clinic instead.
While I of course was left behind on the other side, gaping and wondering as to what exactly was happening.
By then, I have ” autobot(ed) ” into a showroom christmas tree.
( -stroller, baby bag, thermos, milk bottle, and what have yous hanging from me.)
And my husband, on the other hand, ” decepticon(ed )” himself ,
glaring icily at the nanny while maybe mouthing the words …”Destroy.”
After an unexplainable ” Looper/ Time Warped ” moment, the other version has to explain what just occurred and where the version2.0 came from.
” Ate, Kuya, Kasi hindi nila alam na nag yaya ako. Eh, ang alam nila kc ,nag o-OPIS ako.” May nakita kc akong dumaan tiga amin, nahihiya ako.”
WHAAAAAAAT?
” Ya, anong nakakahiya sa pagiging yaya, legitimo naman ang trabaho mo, at hindi ka naman nagnanakaw? “
(Besides, there really is nothing shameful with being a nanny, is there?And why, with a starting pay of 5,000 which increases every year? )
( yep, a far cry of course, from the career yaya / yaya material, who takes pride in her job.)
Tsaka may ipagtatapat din ako, Te,
Hindi talaga ako Yaya.
‘ dizer ako sa Puregold tapos na endo ako..
Hindi talaga tutuo yung sinulst ko sa biodata ko.
yung ma telephone numbers kunyari ng mga past employees ko, mga kamagaanak ko lang yun.”
( and my name is Dexter, I’m a serial killer.)
So,
” Te, magpapaalam na po , ako.”
We parents are as defenseless as our children.
Nobody protects us from this new generation of nannies who abuse our kindness and generosity…
We play a game of russian roulette with damocles sword hanging on top of our heads.
It’s been five months since I have totally divested our houshold with a nanny for my child , so the chances of acquiring these new generation of nannies is null.
But did I have to go through that and meet those characters?
And be subjected to all those?
Meet more of them on my next piece…
And how they tormented my life and many of my friends’ lives, while we are but just parents, working so hard for our children.
Nakikisama.
Nakikiusap.
Nagmamakaawa.
…That’s what us parents, do for our kids.
You may think Nanny woes are insignificant but not when you are a parent yourself.
Continue Here for Part 2
