My Guide to Eat Bulaga’s Kalyeserye

Social media is the new currency of television networks.

When local noontime show, Eat Bulaga added Philippine’s Dubsmash Queen, Maine Mendoza, to its roster of talented artists, the love team, Aldub, began cashing in, one to two million tweets, per episodes.

I am one, with everyone else on social media, in hash-tagging, #AlDub.

Eat Bulaga’s kalyeserye is a breath of fresh air.

Yaya Dub is funny-beautiful and the present darling of netizens. Her funny faces number, fail to conceal her beautiful features. ( tagline: ang tunay na maganda, hindi takot mag mukhang pangit)

She takes the starboard side of the ship, Aldub.

Then, just when “The Wet Look” was all left behind, in the eighties, Alden Richards or Alden ng Broadway ( the other split, of the split screen) made everyone #KiligPaMore.

In most of Lola Nidora’s challenges, Alden is either drenched in sweat or immersed in water. His dimples leap out of the t.v. screen, into the living room and hearts of girls, everytime he lip synchs, “Dahlin, I”.

Then, of course, comedians Wally and Jose, bring the house down with their antics and portrayals of characters:

Jose as Frankie A. Arinolli and Lolo Franning,

while Wally, the multi- slashee, portrays Lola Nidora- slash-Dora-slash-Duhrizz Maine.

But hey, there are also other things about the Kalyeserye which I find entertaining.

Other things which I love and then, enumerated, for the benefit of my husband who keeps on asking me,

“Ano ba kasi meron dyan at aliw na aliw ka — at hindi ka matigil sa kakatawa?”

My Guide to Eat Bulaga’s Kalyeserye

( for the sole purpose of educating my husband on AlDub )

1. The Rogelios

They are the “bouncer and body-builder looking” body guards of Lola Nidora. They were most likely cloned using Schwarznegger’s DNA. That,or some steriod-related accident. The bodyguards are all named, Rogelio. They only respond to Lola, when she summons them with, “Rogelio, Rogelio, Rogelio”. If not called by their names, they will not budge.

Before fainting and falling to the ground, Lola Nidora has to say, ” Rogelio, Rogelio, Rogelio, hihimatayin ako,” —for The Rogelios to catch her. Therefore, if Lola does not say, ” Rogelio, Rogelio, Rogelio”, then these Rogelio creatures would just have to stay put and watch Lola fall to the ground.

The Rogelios can be seen on the background ( oftentimes behind Lola) wearing blue polo barongs . They are equipped with radio handsets. They are also sometimes seen wearing ear pieces. They are notoriously identified with their shades which they use all the time, regardless of a sunny day, a rainy day or an eclipse.

The Rogelios are the prototypes of :

The Bernardos ( fresh from the runway) and The Quandos ( fresh from the graves)

2. The Spirit of the late comedian, Mang Babalu

Or, well, the spirit which supposedly possesses Lola Nidora when she wants to make a point or when she is mad. (especially at The Rogelios)

Lola Nidora, oftentimes, can be seen channelling the late comedian, Mang Babalu.

“Ina-anu nyo ako ha?”

3. The Riding in Tandem

They are not difficult, to pick out from the crowd of Juan for All and All for Juan. They are “a pair” that would most likely be riding a bike. They can be seen wearing thick black leather jackets —regardless of the weather, the temperature or an impending heat stroke.

They once snatched the mahiwagang diary of Lola Nidora.

As per kalye definition, they are snatchers by profession.

But they moonlight as delivery boys for Alden. They were the ones, who delivered the flowers, the Hany Chocnut and isaw ng manok which Alden sent for Yaya Dub.

They were also the ones who brought chicharon to Lola Nidora. They, one time, angered Lola Nidora when they mistakenly ( intentionally) brought a wreath of flowers for her.

4. Paolo ( the feeder)

With the Eat Bulaga panel on the other side, Paolo is the commentator at the barangay.

“Lakas maka minion ng damit ni Lola.”

“Galing ni Pops.”

But what makes Paolo’s hosting funnier is when he would ask Lola Nidora, “Asawa ni”?

Lola Nidora: Babala.

Paolo : Asawa ni?

Lola Nidora: Babalu.

Susuko.

Asawa ni?

Susuka.

*Recently, Paolo joined the kalyeserye as Lola Tidora, the twin sister of Lola Nidora. She is surrounded with brawny, handsome and younger body guards, The Bernardos.

5. Chewy-bles.

“Minsan vitamins,
Minsan butones.”

Chewy-bles or Chewables are the vitamins/medicine that Lola Nidora supposedly take regularly. She asks them from Yaya Dub. But Lola Nidora/Wally, gets pranked by his co-hosts, once in a while. So, instead of the chewy candies, he one time received and almost swallowed a button.

6. Barbara Sastre

The couturier.

She/ He/It designed Yaya Dub’s wedding gowns -in both her almost-weddings to Frankie.

7. LoMmy

Is the love team to beat: Jimmy and Lola Nidora.

8. The Eat Bulaga Panel back at Broadway.

You know those old men at the theater in Sesame Street?

The Eat Bulaga Panel back at Broadway, reminds me of them. They make comments that are either frank, funny, or both.

9. Chuckie of Child’s Play

While the spirit of Babalu possesses Lola Nidora, Chuckie of Child’s Play once in a while appears on the set, through F.A.A or Frankie A. Arinolli—Frankie‘s blonde wig and microphone, in particular.

( Frankie’s wig is as alive as Frankie himself)

Chuckie possesses Frankie A. Arinolli ,when Frankie is pushed in a corner or when he has no choice and has nothing to say. (btw, F.A.A. is my favorite character)

10. Tedi Ber

The bear that Frankie gave Yaya Dub. Yaya Dub for a few minutes, hugged it but later on, threw it away ( binalibag), after seeing Alden’s stuff toys for her:

Minnie Mouse ( or Maine-ni mouse)

and Mickey Mouse

After which, Frankie exclaimed, “I am hate you Yaya“.

11. 51 Million 500

The amount of money Lola Nidora is asking from Alden, so Lola can get the diary back and Alden could have her blessing and be with Yaya Dub. A tongue twister for Lola Nidora/Wally for she, once in a while says, “51 thousand 500 million”.

12. The Brand X

Brand X is the brand of mouth wash which was thought to be acid, thrown on Alden’s face.

{ Frankie thought he threw acid on Alden’s face but instead, threw pure concentrated mouth wash— kaya lalung bumango ang mukha ni Alden.}

13. Miss Celia Rodriguez

On Day 12 of Aldub, Miss Celia Rodriguez appeared as Senyora Celia, chastising Lola Nidora for having belittled her nephew, Alden. ( or Aldrin, she says)

14. Fan Sign

“Fan sign, fan sign lang, tapos, kayo na?” – Lola Nidora

But Lola, their fan signs are precious. It is more than “just a fan sign, lang”. It is a profession of love, witnessed by an entire nation of television-fanatics, like me.

(an admission of love or so we’d like to think)

15. The Pabebe Wave and The Pinky Swear

16. Street Food

Street food played important roles in the AlDub lovestory:

• Balut
• Kwek-kwek
• Isaw ng manok

17. “Huwebes ba nag simula ang lahat Yaya”?

“Huwebes ba nag simula ang lahat, Yaya?” asked Allan K.

Thus, Thursday became Aldub day.

18. The overflowing supply of adlib and segue

” Kung maka iyak ka naman para kang nanalo sa beu- con.”

“Lola, may hinahanap ka? Gusto mo hanap tayo ng gulo”?

“Pasing tabi sa nananghalian.”

“hashtag, rambutan.”

“Atsaka, wag mo akong sisihin/susuyuin = __________”

“Jose, Jose, parang tayo nalang ang umaarte dito sa kalyeserye, yung dalawa, totoo na!”

“How you do things matters, as much as what you do”.

Eat Bulaga’s Kalyeserye does not only have a creative staff and a group of talented artists, but it also has a hardworking team

-filled with people who do not mind the weather, the temperature in the Pacific Ocean, (el niño, man o la niña) nor the greater number of people in the barangay, who are about to mob them.

I am hooked on Eat Bulaga’s Kalyeserye. It is a noontime habit I recently acquired. I am not a fan of changes, but this, I happily accept.

(Source: screen caps grabbed from Eat Bulaga Replay‘s You Tube Channel)

MORE:

5 Types of Aldub Fans on Twitter (part 1)

5 Types of Aldub Fans on Twitter ( part 2)