We all go through a rough season. A turbulence. A storm. A typhoon. In the rough season of our lives. We have nowhere to go. We stay indoors.
Many of us are going through an extraordinary time in life especially now during this pandemic. We all have different reasons for our rough seasons. But one thing is for sure we go through stages of our storms, our seasons.
THE DARK CLOUDS.
As it is with dark clouds looming over the horizon before a storm, so were my doubts slowly filling my thoughts -threatening my mental state. I doubted my capability to adapt and stay strong especially during this pandemic.
The real battle started there. As my doubts grew bigger, so did my fears. I feared almost everything. My doubts silenced all words of encouragement that I kept telling myself.
I dreaded the downpour of problems. I wondered how high the rainwater would be. And I asked myself how much of it I can take.
And when my doubts settled in, they shook the foundations of my faith. It is difficult for me to hang on to God when I did not understand what was going on in my life. Why my small family was and is still going through an ordeal. I doubted my capabilities. It was an unexpected challenge that made me panic.
Will I face these dark clouds head-on? Will I wade in the water? Will the floodwaters wash me away? Would I be but pieces only of what I used to be?
Our faith is most definitely being tested. Our surroundings are closing in. We are at the receiving end of something we do not understand— or even imagined. This is the season when things are not going our way. And I pondered on whether I will stay afloat?
THE STRONG WINDS.
Just like the searching wind so was the financial trial. Like most of us, it was our finances and what little thereof that kept us afloat, especially during the pandemic. The stronger the pull of the winds, the greater the need to pool resources to make ends meet. The pandemic has blown away many of our sources of income. It’s gustiness leaving most of us broken. Business is low. Many were let go from their jobs. Most experienced a tremendous decrease of income, if not lost an entire livelihood.
But in my case, the coffers were already fast drying up, even before the pandemic started. All the more was it challenging for me and my family because we were used to an abundant lifestyle. So when our finances started dwindling, it made a huge impact especially on my son and husband who were used to plentitude whether it may be food, things, and options. Yes, what used to be a variety of choices was now limited, or none at all. There was a significant change in our way of life. But the dwindling finances was just the onset of an even greater challenge.
LIGHTNING and THUNDER.
A health issue in our family confirmed that we were facing a full-fledged storm with explosive lightning bolts and raging thunderstorms, the whole shebang. It was traveling at a speed of heartbreak accompanied by frequent roars of anger. Having someone in the family getting sick is the heaviest of all burdens to carry. It leaves us powerless. Just like what this pandemic brought about.
Three years ago my husband’s spinal operation failed and left him paralyzed. With him being our breadwinner, it rendered the family helpless. As if we were not already with the finances and all.
It was an extremely dark time as everyone and everything went flying into each other, from family members, and doctors’ opinions to actual objects taking flight from one side of the room to another. The rough season is an intriguing time. In this season, people and circumstances alike may leave us broken. It may be hurting and confusing time. It will be heartbreaking and overwhelming.
STAYING INDOORS.
Sometimes we cannot face the storm head-on. When the storm is just too strong, we have to find shelter. And just it was during the pandemic, we stayed indoors perhaps preparing a tasty broth to keep ourselves warm.
We stay put and try our best to prosper even in lack. We do our very best to thrive.
Let me share with you that in my rough season I was able to find myself and to believe in myself once again. I was able to find my hustle. I never thought I would be able to put aside money and save from my earnings. I was my production staff, marketing, logistics, and accounting. I had many self-realizations that summoned my inner muses and my entrepreneurial and marketing skills which I used to do for the previous jobs I held before I got married. (God helped me especially when I was starting and I had no idea what I was exactly doing). Had the times been not as challenging – I would not have discovered my truer capabilities which I have left hidden.
As for now, my family and I are trying hard to cope with this season. My husband is continuously adapting to his season- a season that seemed to limit him but instead gave him focus and goals thus making him work harder, sell more and achieve goals. His business acumen is now at its sharpest more than ever. My son too, is working hard on his goals than he ever did. He did work hard to get into the premier science high school in the Philippines, despite the odds.
As we go through our rough seasons, let us hope. AND WHY NOT when our Philippine Weather Bureau is aptly called hope (or PAGASA)? We will never know how long the rough season will last. We let it pass. For it too shall pass. It may be a hard season but God will be there with us, in our rough seasons.
❤️❤️❤️