The Wise Dad from the South

My Dad was born and raised in the island of Camiguin, in the town of Catarman to be exact. His parents, Cristino Banaag and Felisa Torayno Banaag, were hardworking folks who valued education.

Just like his parents before him, my Dad is a very hardworking man who values education.

Being the business man that he is, his business ventures helped him send his children, to good schools and buy them, good books. His printing shop opened at eight a.m. and closed at six p.m.

His karaoke bar and restaurant opened at around the same time the shop closed. He slept around two am and woke up at five or six a.m. He rarely got to sleep.

He is a “stage dad”, literally and figuratively. He always got to be “on stage” to pin medals and help receive awards.

He somehow managed, to attend school activities like quiz bees, math Olympiads, elocution contests, closing ceremonies and sports-fests, in spite of his busy schedule.

He was that Dad who never failed to be there, in ALL the milestones of his children’s lives.

We are so blessed to have him as our Dad.

There was this time, when one of my brothers had his oath taking, as licensed Civil Engineer, at the Manila Hotel.

We were very much aware then, that our finances surely, could not allow a round trip plane ticket for any of our parents to be with him. So, I, being the one working here in Manila that time, was the one designated to go with him.

As we left my apartment, my father suddenly sent a message that he was already waiting for us at the hotel. Having envisioned him to be in the province, we just shrugged it off, as one of my dad’s usual antics.

And how surprised was my brother and I, when indeed, in the middle of the lobby of the Manila Hotel, stood my father, in his well ironed barong and brief case.

I knew it meant so much to my brother, for a second there, I knew tears welled in his eyes.

Daddy believes so much, in each of us, that none of us felt that we are inferior to another. He talks about us to other people, as if we are the greatest children a parent could ever have.

But sometimes to our mortification. he does go overboard.

He once paraded in a shirt which said “ Taga U.P. Mga Anak Ko?” written on front and to our chagrin had a back that said, “Eh Sa ‘Yo ? “

But then again, my two sisters Mirzi and Steffi who both finished with flying colors from the university, should be genuinely relieved that the shopping center never sold:

“Cum Laude Mga Anak Ko”

for there would be no argument, on the patron who will be buying the most. Or had there been a shirt that read as, ” Licensed Engineers ” or ” Registered Nurses “ or “Programmer Analysts “ mga anak ko, then he most likely would be parading in it.

There also was this particular time, when one of my brothers, who, after having passed his engineering board exam, got the shock of his life, when the local radio station Bombo Radyo CdeO began congratulating him on air, every thirty minutes or so.

And this of course, years later, in spite of my other two siblings staunch disapproval, did not exempt them, from hearing their names over and again on the radio, for having passed their respective engineering and nursing board exams.

My mom’s words really were “ si daddy pa, uk-uk nalang ang wala na hibalo.” (with daddy, only the bugs are the ones not aware”… of his children’s achievements that is. )

All these of course, used to make me cringe until I became a parent myself; you can never be more proud of anyone else than your children. Admittedly, their achievements are your glory because a part of you is in them.

In spite having eight children, my Dad never made us feel that we had nothing.

He just made us think, that we may not have a lot but we had enough.

Sometime in 1991 at Kalayaan dormitory, in one of my rare “neighboring” ( read as :chatting the night away and pigging out in another person’s room beyond curfew hours ), the topic that came to be was ” parents’ sacrifices “.

A dorm mate who came from Cagayan de Oro City, volunteered a story, related to her by her dad. Her dad told her of a passenger he rode with, in the Super Ferry going home to CdeO. He shared a bunk across his.

At first he said, the man seemed very arrogant when it surely showed, he had no penny, in his pocket, for they went together to the ship’s canteen during mealtime.

The man he said “just had coffee” for breakfast, had the most inexpensive viand for lunch and just had the free soup for dinner.” Then upon getting to know the man, my dorm mate’s dad said that what he mistook as conceit, was actually pure confidence and pride.

He was most especially very proud of his children and their achievements . And in fact, he was to be envied, for he seemed pretty optimistic, that his children will turn out well. I did not wait for my dorm mate to mention, if the man his dad rode with, had eight children. ( which she did of course.)

Tears already clouded my vision, for I remembered my mom’s exact words:

“ si daddy baya paghuman hatud sa imo diha sa U.P. , wala na siyay kwarta.

Ni sakay siya sa Superferry wala halos kaon-kaon, gigutom pag abot dinhi sa balay.”

( “your daddy did not have money anymore, after leaving you there in U.P.
He rode the Superferry with almost nothing to eat and he was very hungry when he reached home.”)

This was after he bought me a brand new watch, a new shirt and some stuff for the dorm. Not to mention the relatively large allowance he left me with.

And this was without any hint whatsoever of his pockets being empty.The boat ride must have taken thirty-eight hours really.( roughly a day and a half )

I could not imagine, how a seemingly, arrogant person like him, had managed to look alright despite the hunger and the exhaustion. I really do not know how that had affected me but since then, I vowed that I will surely return my father’s sacrifices.

My dad dreamed with us and through God’s grace, it was not put in vain. Dad did everything to place us where we are now.

Today, my Dad still gets free meals and free soups, but this time, it’s on us.

My Dad inspired, believed and lead us to the great future that we all worked hard for!

I and my two sisters, Steffi and Mirzi went to U.P. Diliman. ( and the two of them, finished CUM LAUDE. )

My youngest brother Geo is a Programmer. He is presently based in another country.

My brother Marco is a Programmer Analyst. He is married to my sister-in-law, Aireen. They have one child.

My brother Vito is a Civil Engineer. He and his wife, Mae, are presently residing in another country.

My brother Gierek, also an Engineer, an Electronics Communication Engineer. He is married to my beautiful sister-in-law, Rubinette, also a banker. They have two children.

My sister, Pia is a registered nurse.

My youngest sister, Steffi graduated from at U.P. Law. She is now a lawyer -working for a prestigious firm in Manila.

My sister, Mirzi not only has a Business Economics degree but she is also a registered nurse. She is married to my brother-in-law Jong, a ship captain for a foreign shipping line. They have two children.

I am married to my husband Richard, an entreprenuer. We have one child.

Ever since, I have always made sure that people knew, how all of us, eight kids: four girls and four boys turned out. Even if others might get tired, of hearing me talk about it, or read my writings about it.

It is because our feat, had always been my foot note, reference point and bibliography when the thesis, on the importance of fatherhood vis á vis motherhood, needed to be affirmed.

HAVING EIGHT CHILDREN is no laughing matter and providing for their education is an even less amusing crusade.

It is disheartening of course, when we sometimes read about young people who take their own lives for the lack of college tuition. Imagine the pain of those children’s parents, the fathers most especially.

A disappointment, maybe, for not having been able to provide their children’s education and for not having been able to INSPIRE their children, to believe and keep on fighting, whatever obstacles come their way. ( may it be college tuitions, bills, rejection or a broken heart.)

Dad would always say this line: ” Daug gihapon bisag gi daug -daug.”

Something like, “Think like a winner, even when not treated fairly”.

We are very grateful that Dad did those, for all of us, not to mention having chosen our Mom to be his partner in life. And Mom too, for having chosen Dad.

He is the Captain of our ship, through the calm and the storm, he took hold of our future, just by believing in all of us. We are now living ” that future.” He made us claim it, now we own it.