The Wise Man From The South, The Wise Man From The East

This was Something I wrote last June in 2009: Father’s Day

And once again for Father’s Day on JUNE 19, I honor Two Wise Men that my son takes his roots from.

The WiseMan from the South, Rafa’s Daddy –Lo.

My dad was born and raised in the island of Camiguin, in the town of Catarman to be exact. His parents valued education like he did.

He is a very hardworking man.

His printing shop opens at eight and closes at six . The karaoke bar and restaurant opens at around the same time the shop closes.

He sleeps around two am and wakes up at five or six am.He rarely gets to sleep. He is a business person at heart.

His business ventures helped him send us to good schools and buy us good books.

He is a “stage dad” , literally and figuratively.He always gets to be “on stage” to pin medals and receive awards.

He somehow managed to attend school activities like quiz bees ,math olympiads, elocution contest and closing ceremonies in spite of his busy schedule.

He never fails to be there in all the milestones of our lives.

One of my brothers took his oath taking at the Manila Hotel .

We were very much aware then that our finances surely could not allow a round trip plane ticket for any of our parents to be with him.

So, I being the one working here in Manila was the one designated to go with him.

As we left my apartment, my father suddenly sent a message that he was already waiting for us at the hotel.

Having envisioned him to be in the province, we just shrugged it off as one of my dad’s usual antics.

And how surprised was I and my brother when indeed in the middle of the lobby of the Manila Hotel stood my father in his well ironed barong and brief case.

I knew it meant so much to my brother, for a second there, I knew tears welled in his eyes.

Daddy believes so much in each of us that none of us felt that we are inferior to another.

He talks about us to other people as if we are the greatest children a parent could ever have.

But sometimes to our mortification he does get overboard.

He parades in a shirt which says “ Taga U.P. Mga Anak Ko?” written on front and to our chagrin has a back that says “Eh Sa ‘Yo” ?

But then again my sisters Mirzi and Steffi are genuinely relieved that the shopping center does not sell “ Cum Laude Mga Anak Ko” for there would be no argument as to which patron would buy the most.

There too was a particular time when one of my brothers, who, after passing his Engineering board exam, got the shock of his life when the local radio station Bombo Radyo CdeO began congratulating him on air, every thirty minutes or so.

And this of course years later, in spite of my other two siblings staunch disapproval,did not exempt them from hearing their names over and again on the radio for passing their respective engineering and nursing board exams.

My mom’s words really were“ si daddy pa, uk-uk nalang ang wala na hibalo”( with daddy, Only the bugs are the ones not aware”.. of his childrens’ achievements that is ).

All these of course used to make me cringe until I became a parent myself; you can never be proud of anyone else but your children.Their achievements are your glory because a part of you is in them.

Inspite having eight children, my dad never made us feel that we had nothing.He just made us think that we may not have a lot but we had enough.

Sometime in 1991 at Kalayaan dorm, in one of my rare “neighboring” ( read as, chatting the night away and pigging out in another person’s room beyond curfew hours ) ,the topic that came to be was parents sacrifice.

A dorm mate who came from Cdeo volunteered a story related to her by her dad.
Her dad told her of a passenger he rode with, in the Superferry going home to CdeO. He shared a bunk across his.

At first he said the man seemed very arrogant when it surely showed, he had no penny to his pocket, for they went together to the ship’s canteen during mealtime.

The man he said “just had coffee for breakfast, had the most inexpensive viand for lunch and just had the free soup for dinner.”

Then upon getting to know the man, my dorm mate’s dad said that what he mistook as conceit was actually confidence and pride.

He was very proud of his children and their achievements .
And in fact he was to be envied for he seemed pretty optimistic that his children will turn out well.

I did not wait for my dormer to tell me if that man had eight children.

I suddenly remembered my mom’s words “ si daddy baya paghuman hatud sa imo diha sa U.P.

wala na siya kwarta.Ni sakay siya Superferry wala halos kaon-kaon, gigutom pag abot dinhi sa balay.”

(“your daddy did not have money anymore after leaving you there In U.P.

He rode the Superferry with almost nothing to eat and he was very hungry when he reached home.)

This was after he bought me a brand new watch, a new shirt and some stuff for the dorm.

Not to mention the relatively large allowance he left me with.

And this was without any hint what so ever of his pockets being empty.

The boat ride must have taken thirty-two hours really.

I could not imagine how a seemingly arrogant person like him managed to looked alright despite the hunger and the exhaustion.

I do not know how it had affected me but since then I vowed that I will surely return my father’s
sacrifices.

My dad dreamed with us and through God’s grace it was not put in vain. Dad did everything to place us where we are now.

My dad still gets free meals and free soups but this time, it is all on us…

The Wiseman from the East
Rafa’s Angkong (GrandDad) . My Father in law.

Having been nicknamed The Godfather and The General by distant relatives surely gives a short account of what my husband’s father is.

The first time I met Papa, my father in law, could be likened to any television commercial which shows an apprehensive girlfriend about to bolt from her seat as she is being introduced to the family.

And perhaps with a voice over that echoes “ Sana bumuka ang lupa, lamunin ako ng earth!” ( May the earth open and swallow me up).

He rarely spoke which made it all nerve-racking.And when he did, that was only when I was about to leave.

His words? He said “ tso ko lai”. (which meant “ come again” in Fokien)

And I did not just come again. I married his son and lived in his house.

There were slight adjustments as I came into the family but my father in law made sure I would be comfortable with the new culture.

In fact, he began conversing to me in Chinese. Not that he wanted me to assimilate the language immediately.

Nor did he want to give me a hard time while knowing I was zero- chinese but I, myself , highly wanted that over the tagalog language.

And to further explain my preference without any intent of disrespecting any one, it is best I share an anecdote between him and his mechanic.

One time, he gave a tagalog instruction to his mechanic to … “puto baka” .

This of course gave way to many debates in the entire household as to whatever did he mean by that.
The kitchen says it is food of course. And of which the house boys argued that it just isn’t,
for a pair of rice cake (puto) and beef ( baka) poses great oddity.

But the kitchen still persisted.

And how great was His fury when the mechanic came in bringing just that.

His thick accent missed the letter L on each word;

And his instruction to his mechanic “puto baka ” was not “rice cake , beef” as everyone in the house assumed.

But “ puto baka “ with the letter “L” on both words this time when translated from Filipino to English means “cut steel” Or ( putol bakal )

Truly words and well in this case, the lack thereof, can mar relationships.

So to elude The General’s rage and avoid further miscommunication , I since then very much favour him in his native tongue.

Even if conversing with him proved to be a hindrance, his speaking to me in his language worked to my advantage.

Not only did I grasp a few Chinese words , it also made me appreciate him, his culture and language more.

The nuggets of wisdom that my father in law has, is as rich as the culture of the country that he left as a young man.

The hardships that he went through is truly awe-inspiring.The sacrifes he gave out is overwhelming.

These all includes having not eaten for days, being in a long-boat trip to nowhere, staying in a dank crowded place and continually being hassled in a foreign land.

But because his hard work is a tremendous as his pursuit for a better life , he became successful as he is now.

No motion picture could measure up to the life story of my son’s angkong (grand dad).

In spite of his stature, he remains a very simple man.

On an ordinary day, he just dons a simple kamisa chino, slippers and slacks.

His phone, had it not been broken, would never be replaced with the latest model.
And my husband’s “buying him a new watch” turned to be an absolute discussion that forever remained as one.

FIVE YEARS may never be a long time to actually know someone lest misunderstand his thoughts or words but my father in law has shared so many adages.

Two have now made an impact on my way of life:

Firstly he says “there is no reason at all to complain because what is on the table because it is still food.”

“The disparity “, he says “ between cheap, bland food and pricey , tastier food is only in fact inches away.

”And by inches he meant the distance from the tongue to the esophagus , for there , taste might be consequential.

But he pointed out that as food reaches the stomach the difference is marginal to none at all. True indeed.

Secondly, he says “ the things we wear are truly secondary to who we are.”

Even if one wears branded clothes and designer shoes it still pales in comparison to a tycoon wearing the simplest clothing.

And as an example he says “ even if an average earning person or maybe a student may be wearing the fanciest clothing, he still will never be on the same level as a simply clothed Henry Sy.”

‘What ever you wear can never change who you are or what have in your brain”. Point taken.

Happy Father’s Day to Daddy-lo and Angkong Amado
May my son emulate his grandfathers.

And to all of you father’s out there, especially RICHARD ANG SEN, thank you.

Thank you for working hard, for making ends meet, for providing a meal on the table, for a house to keep us safe and for protecting us at all time.

Thank you, you always got us covered.Thank you for this semi- charmed kind of life that we, wives and children are living.

Pier Angeli B. Ang Sen,
wife, daughter and daughter -in –law