Two Important Things I Will Tell My Four-Year Old Self

If you got the joke, most likely ” our young-ness ” belong to that same timeline in history.

For those who did not:

MacGvyer was a character from a nineties t. v. show of the same title. He was known for utilizing ordinary things and building them into contraptions or weapons, when needed. The show begins with him saying,

“My name is MacGyver.” ( thus, menemes…)

Now, the actor portraying MacGyver , Richard Dean Anderson shares the same birthday with me, –January 23. ( not the year, though)

My mother, (who now has a fan base on this blog site ) perhaps hoped, a celebrity life for me, so she named me after her: Pier Angeli:

I was named after that Italian Hollywood actress. But well, as you can see, I’m no actress. Neither was I born with a silver spoon, swiss knife and a packaging tape, nor do I go, ” menemes “.

Or, maaaaybe… ” Menemes The Soapbox Filipina, what’s yours?” As my birthday came to a pass, my matron-of-honor self, has two important things to tell, my four-year old flower girl self.

1. On marriage:

” If change will not hurt you, do not struggle with it. It is beautiful if you embrace it, accept it and enjoy it.”

Marrying my husband, who had Chinese lineage, was of course marrying into the culture. After having fallen in love with him, I pre-conditioned my mind in embracing, anything new, that will come after the nuptials. Besides, I know that love knows no boundaries. It knows no limitations; love stories withstand age, language and yes, culture.

Once in a while, I am being politely asked in the lines of, how I managed to integrate myself, into the family. I was brought up placing great importance on family relationships, so it was never a struggle. I was also fortunate that everybody welcomed me in the new home, taught me the language and made me appreciate the food. (yes, especially the food)

Learning the language remains a challenge for me.

I still get confused with, “how old are you” and “turn on the light”, since in hokkien, they both sound the same.( well, for me that is. )

Di kwi hé? how old are you?

Di kwhee he. turn on the light.

I still could not decipher, the correct diphthong, so I play it by ear.

If I find myself, in the middle of an introduction, I safely presume that I would most likely be asked my age, than be told “to turn on the light” .

The food is now a staple in my life, a favorite. Need not mention that at courtship, my husband had me at “hot salad roll from Wai-ying.”

I love and appreciate everything Chinese. I go with the family to pray to Ti Kong and Pao Kong. I go to the temple to pay-pay, in the same way that I continue praising my Heavenly Father and reciting the rosary. I have high respect for my father-in-law’s beliefs, customs and traditions. just as I offer mass for his birthday or for his good health. It does not tire me, to listen to him talk about, how his hard work was as tremendous as his pursuit for a better life.

I revel in going around Binondo, more than going to the mall. And when my parents-in-law happen to be in Ongpin, I look forward to what they bring back home for pasalubong –siomai, shao long pao or lumpia.

I went to geh lai after I gave birth.

I love eating the tasty black chicken from ” Ang Tunay “.

I drink soup with see bhut on it.

I wore a shirt with hues of red, on my birthday.

I had special miswa that morning.

I am A-um and A-kim ( aunt ) to my niece and nephews.

I look forward to every cha pan toh ( lunch or dinner -food lauriat) and I love spinning the lazy Susan.

I am thrilled in waiting for the Chinese New Year. ( which incidentally is this friday)

You see, if it makes you a better person, change is beautiful.

2. On children:

” Pray, give your time and your one hundred percent when taking care of your child, God will see you through. “

My son used to be underweight. One of his doctors, even told us, he was not gaining weight like growing kids his age, should.

A gastro-pedia diagnosed him as having an acute GERD or Gastro Esophageal Reflux Disease.

1. He vomited in a projectile manner.

2. He had frequent cough and colds. ( as frequent as every week )

3. He had bouts of mal-absorption.

4. He had poor sleeping habits.

5. He was a picky eater.

6. He had a hard time swallowing his food.

7. He had asthma.

( if you googled GERD, you would also see asthma as one of its symptoms.)

He was treated for six months with proton pump inhibitors and motility agents. He was scheduled for a barium x-ray if he had not recovered from the GERD.

Persistent prayers and a notebook/planner helped me.

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I wrote down the times he threw up. I planned his meals carefully. I closely monitored his sleeping habits and his activities. Everything had to be on time – till they all became one patterned behavior. He had his meals strictly on a particular time. He slept only when it was his nap time or sleeping time. He read books, watched t.v. and played on a certain time only. I had to list down all the food that should be included and avoided in his diet.

My husband, who was the light sleeper between us, watched over my son while he slept. He had to make sure that our son, remained sleeping on an elevated position, all through out the night.

Later on, I challenged myself in cooking my son’s favorite dishes. ( thank you, Panlasang Pinoy) I had mental notes on his trigger foods like french fries, tomato, citrus or chocolate. ( once in a while, we allow him those food, but only in small portions.)

Yes, I missed several parties. I have declined invitations of friends and relatives to join them on their birthdays, anniversaries and gatherings. (- which even resulted in falling out and severing ties with friends ) Most of the time, I stayed at home. I never watched a movie or went out for coffee with friends.

All those, just to make sure, I never mess up the schedule. I followed my son around, literally, just to feed him. As they might say it in Filipino, ” Kina-reer ko ang anak ko.”

And through God’s grace and two years also without a nanny to assist us, (especially with my son’s condition) my husband and I managed to get by his GERD.

Today, my son eats fruits, vegetables and meat voraciously. He now is a little over his ideal weight- another topic I have to tackle in the future. ( something to do with drinking Nido- an advice taken from Gemma, a co- parent.)

Today, I still manage a planner but it is now for my son’s school activities and my schedule for writing.

To all the married women and mommies out there, remember, we are doing a great job. Do not be bothered by “Nasa bahay LANG siya, wala namang ginagawa.” Others may not see, the sacrifices we made, but later on our efforts will show.

The things we do, can never be measured by money, never. Keep on doing what you are doing because if you don’t, nobody can and nobody will. God will see us through. God is a good and loving God.

And remember to say this: